Wednesday, October 28, 2009

my connection once again

Hey guys,
I listen to the Power Hour everyday....about 9 years ago, my son committed suicide and left three children behind that we fought for because of an abusive stepmother,,,,,we lost all but one...the other two continued to struggle in and out of abuse and to this day are still very much abused...I was very angry with God, my church, anyone who tried to comfort me...I felt lonely, isolated, and had no where to turn...God sent me many messages, but they weren't enough. I went through depression hiding it from my family who thought I was doing okay when inside I wanted to scream. My turn around came from some missionaries from my church who came to visit me one day. They were invited back and about the third visit one of them read me a scripture after I told her my spirit was molting, I no longer felt the spirit in me....I do not remember the scripture, they are trying to get ahold of her to get it, but it was actually a lecture....you need to move on, get over your anger, get reconnected to God....she made me an appointment with our Bishop which I was reluctant to do because the last one had done nothing to help me..I went anyway...he was the kindest person I have ever met, he listened, he told me that what had happened wasn't my fault, God is taking care of my son, and that I needed to reconnect to feel the holy spirit in me for healing. I felt so much better and made him a promise to come to church, but it didn't happen right away....I put it off and then one Sunday I said to my hubby, I made a promise I need to keep. I went to church and this man greeted me with tears along with a few of my other friends I hadn't seen in about 9 years...I was so taken back that anyone cared about me, I was overwhelmed....they told me as I walked across the room to greet them there was a light around me and that was what made them cry...they knew I was making the connection again. I am still working at it and some days are still bad, I do pray now every day, sometimes the prayers are answered, sometimes not...the bishop told me all the prayers for my other son who is an alcoholic were being answered, maybe he hadn't stopped drinking, but all the accidents and near misses meant God had spared him because of my prayers....it takes work to reconnect and to go through things.....I know the two of you will make it, your story is beautiful. Let's try to bring back to God all the ones who have fallen away because of hurt feelings, isolation, feeling no one cares about your hurts....we need to care about each other and just think if the whole world were just like those who want to share that God lives what kind of a world would it be then? Each of us can reach out...I wish you both well.....
Sally in Fredericksburg